Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
