I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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