I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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