jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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