IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
