I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
