After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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