In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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