i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
