Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
