You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
