I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
