All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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