i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
