i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
