if only i could text you this smell
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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