Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
