were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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