yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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