everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
