Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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