How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
