from now on my penis is your penis
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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