so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
