It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
