Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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