Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My ass is underappreciated
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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