Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
