i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
