We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
