Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
love makes seman taste better
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
