Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
