i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
