That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
