Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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