the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
