Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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