So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The power of my boobs compel you
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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