ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
