I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
