You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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