The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
