alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
