On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
