We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
