I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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