I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
