clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
