I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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