she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
