her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
