Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
