I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
