doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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