Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
