Buhtt sex?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
