He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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