so that wasnt chicken after all
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
