he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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