we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
