You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
