So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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