Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
