if you like me you must not know who I am
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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