How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
