um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
