Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
