Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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